I am sprawled out in the rain cutting myself. I am setting my alarm for 4:15 AM and it feels like signing my own death warrant. I am in bed. I am canceling my Facebook status post. I am canceling my Facebook account. I am joking. I am not joking. I am mostly joking, at least about the not joking part. Or the other parts. I am sprawled out in the rain.

Go thou into thy closet; shut thy door;
And pray to Him in secret: He will hear.
But think not thou, by one wild bound, to clear
The numberless ascensions, more and more,
Of starry stairs that must be climbed, before
Thou comest to the Father’s likeness near,
And bendest down to kiss the feet so dear
That, step by step, their mounting flights passed o’er.
Be thou content if on thy weary need
There falls a sense of showers and of the spring;
A hope that makes it possible to fling
Sickness aside, and go and do the deed;
For highest aspiration will not lead
Unto the calm beyond all questioning.

George MacDonald